After losing my oldest son to suicide in 2000 following my mother’s death by suicide in 1971, I began a quest. I started to question why this was happening to my family. I came to the conclusion that while I knew that Case suffered depression, I had no idea how devastating it could be. Nor did I know what to do about it. We made appointments with his Dr and a counselor. We did all that we knew of to do but it wasn’t enough because we had no idea how strong this opponent was.
The reality is that there is a fatal outcome to depression and that is suicide. Research is showing us that the predisposition to depression often runs in families. I have traced it through my mother’s side starting with her mother and moving to my mother, to myself and finally to my children in varying degrees. It was apparent that Case was struck the hardest but my other two sons have felt the sting as have I. It was then that I decided to stand up and tell anyone who would listen, that depression is not just a blue day. It is a devastating disease often caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. When you combine the genetics, the chemicals and too many negative life experiences, you are often left with a volatile lack of self esteem and an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness and helplessness. It is at that point that the darkness envelops the human spirit and suicide becomes possible.
Someone once told me that my son died of a disease as surely as if he had died of Cancer. The demon of depression eats away at the life and spirit of it’s victims until they can see little in their lives but darkness. It is at that point that death begins to look like the only way they can rid themselves of the psychological pain that has become so unbearable.
As Project CASE gradually took shape, so did its goal of education. We want to make it possible for people to recognize this devastating condition. I developed my basic educational tool titled “Locked in the Suicidal Mind.” We talk to school health classes, service groups, suicide survivor groups and anyone else who will listen because the reality is that the only way we can endeavor to save fragile lives, is to educate ourselves with the facts and arm ourselves with the resources to fight back. We talk about:
